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Whichever Way The Junk Hangs

The medical literature is a large and mostly unorganized place. In 1997, Anthony Bogaert, as referenced by statue-ball fondler McManus, made his contribution to the housekeeping of medical information by combining most of the available data on asymmetry of the male genitals. We’re pretty sure this information will never serve any medical purpose, but it makes for a good read. We now present you with scintillating fodder for your next NAMBLA meeting.

What data did homes use?

Testicular asymmetry: 1960 study by Chang, et al

Penile asymmetry: Database from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction
This is a huge reservoir of info compiled between 1938 to 1963 that contains data on genital asymmetry and handedness (among many other delights) on 6,544 males.
Although not included in the final data calculations, Bogaert describes the only other known attempt to link dominant hand to genital asymmetry (an unpublished report by Wada & Strauss). The findings are less than memorable, but what is truly awesome is the design of their study:

“[I]investigators sought out undergraduate men at a university pool/aquatic centre. They approached men who they observed to have a flaccid penile angulation of >30% beyond the midline and then later inquired about their handedness…”  Smooth!

What did the data show?

Testicular asymmetry:

  • A man’s dominant hand is related to which testicle hangs lower
  • Right-handers tend to have a lower hanging left testicle
  • Left-handers tend to have a lower hanging Right testicle
  • Left-handers are more likely to have symmetrical testicles (hang at the same level)

Penile asymmetry:  This is broken down into several different categories

1) Position of flaccid penis (when standing and not erect, which direction does it hang?)

  • Direction of penile deviation is not really related to your dominant hand
  • Most people have a penis that hangs to the left
  • Right-handers are slightly more likely to have a left-hanging flaccid penis than a left-hander (80% vs 75%)
  • Left-handers are more likely to have a penis that hangs straight down (4.4% vs 2.6%)

2) Lateral inclination of the erect penis (if you were standing up and had an erection, which way does it point?)

  • There is no real relationship between handedness and direction your boner points
  • Most people have an erection that points straight ahead, “stab-forward,” in the parlance of our times
  • If the erect penis is deviated, it is most likely going to point to the left in both right and left-handers
  • Left-handers are more likely to have a straight erection than right-handers (69% vs 65%)

3) Curvature of the erect penis (when erect, which way does the shaft curve?)

  • There is no relationship to handedness and curvature in the erect penis
  • Most people (85%) don’t have any curvature in their erect penis
  • If the erect penis is curved, it is most likely going to curve left in both left-handers and right-handers
  • Neither left-handers nor right-handers are more likely to have an uncurved penis

What does this mean?

  • It probably means nothing
  • However, in 1994 (Kimura) a study showed that men with a larger right testicle have more cognitive skills than men with a larger left testicle. If asymmetry and intelligence are related, this may indicate that crooked junk and smarts are linked to a common prenatal hormone.
  • It probably means nothing

Bogaert AF. Genital asymmetry in men. Human Reproduction 1997;12:68-72.

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    Whichever Way The Junk Hangs - The File - The Throckmorton File

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